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sex education, or parents experiencing shame themselves,’ says Knight. This canmanifest in many ways, she says, including inability to achieve orgasmand issues with intimacy, body con dence andmental health. ‘Thankfully, there are people out there able to help,’ says Knight. Sex therapists, coaches and counsellors can address both the root cause and knock-on e ects of sexual shame, as well as help build sexual wellness. If you’re not ready to take the plunge with professional help, then change your perspective – literally. ‘There are tonnes of great sex, body and love-positive in uencers out there,’ says Knight. ‘Flood your timeline with positive in uences and normalise sex that way.’ Get in touch with your body When it comes to getting comfortable with your own body and learning about your own needs and desires, Knight has one sure- re tip: ‘Masturbation! I can’t talk about the bene ts of solo sex enough. Masturbation is as key to a happy and healthy sex life as lime is to a good G&T. Exploring your body can help boost self- con dence and can teach you how and where you like to be stimulated, meaning future partnered sex sessions could be more ful lling, as you’ll be better attuned to your needs. It also helps you to understand what is “normal” for you – so if there are any unusual changes you can get checked out in good time.’ Master communication ‘You aremuchmore vulnerable talking about sex than doing it.’ This rather ironic truth was pointed out by academic Justin Lehmiller. Start with easier conversations to establish trust and intimacy, for example about consent or contraception. From there, you canmove on to what feels good. ‘If direct conversation isn’t something you’re able to contend with just yet then nd other ways to communicate,’ says Knight. ‘Non-verbal communication, aka body language, can be a great way to divulge what we like and dislike. I’d also recommend using positive reinforcement – telling your partner when they’re doing something right will help to set patterns that really work for you.’ Stay safe, stay savvy Sex positivity also involves the idea of being sexually educated and staying safe, which can help banish feelings of shame rooted inmyths. ‘There’s a lot of misinformation out there, and wemight bemore susceptible to it if our primary source of knowledge has been ill-informed parents, teachers or peers,’ says Knight. But credible, reliable advice is available. ‘Information is everywhere, frombooks to charities and your GP. One of my favourite sex- positive in uencers is award-winning author Gigi Engle – she’s a one-stop shop for all things sex ed.’ You should also speak to your GP about the best formof contraception for you – readWeiss’ tips (below) for themost sustainable options. “Nurturing your sexual wellness is a form of self care, and helps to promote self- appreciation and acceptance” Sex toys l ‘Sex toys are a bit more complicated when we try to break down relative sustainability, so focus on what’s body-safe and eco-“friendlier”.’ l ‘Check out the manufacturer’s website and see what their stance is on sustainability and manufacturing. If you can’t easily find this information, that’s not a great sign.’ l ‘Opt for “medical-grade” or “body-safe” silicone, and never plastic (often made with BPA or phthalates).’ healthy recommends: Smile Makers, a range of vegan sex toys made from body-safe silicone (from £19.95 each, hollandand barrett.com) STEFANIE WEISS’ GUIDE TO SUSTAINABLE SEX Lubricant l ‘For partnered sex with a condom, use a water-based lubricant because oil-based lubes can degrade condoms.’ l ‘I’m a big fan of any that incorporate organic aloe, and avoid any chemical preservatives – no parabens.’ l ‘To use solo, or with a safe partner without a condom, coconut-oil based lubes are wonderful.’ l ‘Avoid glycerin – although this is not a toxin, it’s not good for the lining of the vagina, and can strip it of natural oils, causing irritation.’ healthy recommends: YES Water Based Natural Lubricant contains organic aloe, no parabens, and is as close to natural lube as you can get. (£9.99, 100ml, hollandandbarrett.com) BAL ANCE healthy-magazine.co.uk 101 Words Cheryl Freedman. Photographs Stocksy, Stefanie Weiss by Amanda Guinzburg