Promising yourself you’ll lose weight, nab that promotion or finally start that project this year? It’s all very well creating goals but achieving them is a totally different task, says healthy’s life coach Blaire Palmer. Make 2019 your year of change with her New Year resolutions rules.
Remember, change starts from within
Firstly, you cannot attempt to change a thing without changing yourself. If you want to lose weight, you’ll need to change your behaviour, which is impossible if you still have the same set of beliefs. If you see cake as a reward or as comfort, you’ll have to go without these boosts while you diet. That’s going to be very hard to sustain, so your attitude to food needs to change if you are going to succeed in your goal.
Leave emotion out of it
Linking emotion to the achievement of a goal often has the opposite effect. Until you achieve the goal you are doomed to feel unfulfilled, and in turn, the journey there can seem rather like a punishment. Indeed, when you do finally achieve the goal, you rarely feel the way you expected to. I’ve met many chief executives who expected to feel fulfilled when they secured the top job, only to find the moment lasted about a minute before they were struck by the massive challenge ahead and again plagued with feelings of inadequacy.
Does this mean there’s no point having goals or plans?
Not at all. But you may need to rethink how you find fulfillment and meaning. Use these four tips as a guide:
1 Rather than an outcome-related goal, pick a mind-set or attitude
This means you can find immediate success. Choosing to ‘believe the best about myself’ changes the conversation you have in your head when you think about targets and how to reach them. The shift in internal dialogue will help you to achieve amazing things.
2 Take into account that life will get in the way
Most of us find it hard to stop, regroup and carry on; when plans go awry we just stop. Consider what obstacles could derail your plan and what you might do, along with the attitude you’ll need to overcome these.
3 Focus on what you can influence
My daughter wanted to control everything at her birthday party. We discussed what she could take charge of – how she behaved. We decided she’d be ‘hostess with the mostest’ and focus on her guests. You can’t control others but you can choose the role you play.
4 Accept what’s good is the journey, not the destination
When you strive for something, stick with it after a setback and draw on resources you didn’t know you had. Seek fulfilment from the journey itself and you are far more likely to appreciate the goal.
What goals have you set for the New Year? Tweet and share with us @healthymag